Funny Med School Interview Stories from Student Doctor Network, part 1

Just wow:

“Before one interview, I really had to go to the bathroom (number 1). So I go to the urinal and there’s like two right next to each other really close together. One was taken by this other dude who was like staring at me for no reason. I was kinda creeped out and I didn’t want him to see the goods, so I got in real close to the porcelain and covered everything up all nice. I had to go real bad, so I started relatively instantly and everything went wrong. It was one of those weird streams that came out in full force and in the beginning in two different directions.

Normally, it would be okay, but I was so close to where I was aiming and it was coming out with such force that it started splashing back all over the front of my pants. I backed up to mitigate the ricocheting droplets (the other dude definitely got a peek), but the damage was done. I tried to cover it up with the jacket, but it was painfully evident that I had had an accident. I tried rubbing it out with paper towels, but it just started smearing and becoming bigger. Then I tried the straddling the hand dryer with my crotch while people weren’t watching, but there wasn’t any time left. I eventually had to un-tuck my shirt out of the pants to cover it up. It didn’t look good, but it was the best of the two bad options I was presented with.

I secretly hope that the dude I interviewed with reads this and realizes that I didn’t intend to dress like that and they give me a decision preferably with some sick financial aid. Anyways, after this incident, I always make sure to take a long pee in the morning and dehydrate during the day of an interview.”

 

Do no pass go, do not collect $200:

Interviewer: “How was the place you stayed in last night?”
Applicant: The student was really nice, he gave me some good advice… his room was weird though, there was actually a sink in the bedroom
Interviewer: “A sink in the bedroom?”
Applicant: “Yea… it was like being in jail or something…”
Interviewer: (puzzled look) “…jail?”
Applicant: “uh… yea, not that I’ve been there or anything, I just, uh, guess… that’s what it would be like… yea…”
The student interview

Interviewer: “I see you graduated three years ago.”

Applicant: “Yes, I grew up a lot in those three years. I don’t think I would have been ready for med school right out of college. I don’t know how or why these kids go straight to med school never having experienced the real world, at 22 years old…”

Interviewer: “I’m in one of those six-year high school to med school programs. I’m 20.”

Applicant: “…for me, personally, of course. It was the best choice for me. For me. Personally.”

What your interviewer really wants to hear:

Interview so far has been laid back. The first twenty minutes we discussed medicine, and then we spent the last 40 minutes talking about college football.

Interviewer: “So I guess we should get back to this stuff. Do you have a question for me, one so intriguing and unique that would set you apart from 10,000 applicants?”

Applicant:  “Would continuing to talk about college football set me apart from everyone else?”

Interviewer: “It would certainly be a step in the right direction.”

 

Three strikes:

(We were talking about how my mother didn’t approve of the suit I was wearing.)
Interviewer: “Well I think it looks sharp on you.”
Applicant: “Really? Great! I trust your opinion more than hers.”
Interviewer: laughs
Applicant: “Because she’s a woman!”
Interviewer: stops laughing

Same Applicant, different interview:

(Vascular surgeon interviewer takes me on the rounds and does wound debridement before the interview)
Interviewer: “So, do you have any questions for me?”
Applicant: “Why did you scrape the patient’s wounds before?”
Interviewer: (explains wound debridement…)
Applicant: “Neat, is that something patients can do themselves at home?”
Interviewer: Silence
Applicant: “It would save them the time of coming into the hospital.”
Interviewer: “So you want to arm patients with scalpels and have them self administer tissue removal?”
Applicant: “Well, maybe some procedures are easy enough to explain in a series of how-to steps.”
Interviewer: “So you want to start the movement for patients to do their own wound debridement? Is this what you want to do in medical school?”
Applicant: “um… no…”

Still the same applicant, yet another interview:

(Office phone rings during interview)
Applicant: “I’m gonna run to the bathroom while you answer that.”
Interviewer: “No that’s not necessary we’re almost done.”
Applicant: “Sorry I really gotta go.”

*I walk bent-over out of the room, after going to the bathroom my bladder still hurts from the stretching; I walk into interview room still bent-over*

Interviewer: (gives a strange look) “Are you okay?”
Applicant: “Yes.”
Interviewer: “You sure?”
Applicant: “Yes.”
Interviewer: “Well thanks for your time today.”

 

This would be the wrong answer to any HIPAA-related questions:

Interviewer: “So I see you’ve been volunteering at a free clinic for a long time…tell me about your most interesting experience.”

Applicant: “Well there was a patient who came in and complained to me about his low sperm volume.”
Interviewer: (silence) “…well?”
Applicant: “I asked him how he knew it was low…and he said he measured it out in a cup.”
Interviewer: “what did you do next?”
Applicant:  “…told all the nurses.”

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2 Comments on “Funny Med School Interview Stories from Student Doctor Network, part 1”


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