Hello wonderful readers.
I wanted to let you know that I will be revamping this blog a bit in the coming week. My blog has what some would call schizophrenia when they mean to say “multiple personalities” or dissociative identity disorder. To be fair, schizophrenia is a break from reality that makes it difficult to think logically or behave “normally” in social situations, and my blog also has that.
My blog also likes to use “unnecessary” quotation marks. My blog is so clever.
Anyway, there will be some reorganization (or merely a start to any kind of organization at all), perhaps some design changes (that is to say, some initial thought toward using any design at all, rather than haphazard use of whatever available theme), and I will be rolling out one or two new sites in the coming months to parse content into more meaningful/useful/relevant categories. Right now it’s all over the place, which is an accurate reflection of the author, but I think it would be best for everyone if it were more focused and readers could easily find the content that interests them without fishing through the content that interests someone else.
What will be the fate of medzealot? Feel free to comment or email me with your suggestions. So far, the best-liked content on this site has been humor, creative writing, personal details, and my ideas on how to not suck as a person. Aside from the funny med school interview stories, the med/premed content hasn’t garnered a lot of views, and I don’t plan on writing much more of that so it will be sanctioned out of the blog and into a static page where it can build its own readership without getting in the way. I think this blog will chronicle the rest of my education with intermittent reflection on my upbringing, providing a space for me to share stories, brain dump, comment on various phenomenon I encounter along the way, and hopefully host a discussion or two among readers. This may involve a name change or it may not; I will keep you all posted, especially if the URL changes. In fact, I may poll you or email some of you individually for your opinions if you don’t just offer them up freely 😉
I am creating a 2nd blog to focus on education in general: how to teach and learn, how the human mind works and how to leverage it, and updates on relevant research regarding education, learning, improving memory, teaching methodologies, and other more objective topics, sans personal overtone.
Thank you all for reading, and thank you for bearing with me through the changes.
When I say he was tall I mean that he was 5’10 and I was 6’1 and nobody knew I was taller. He was barrel-chested—not fat but not in good shape but confusingly strong. In a moment of frustration he could slam his fist down on the table so hard you wondered why it didn’t go crashing through the floor into the basement.
He was not handsome. He had a thick auburn beard which he sometimes trimmed to just a moustache—one that would have looked ridiculous on somebody else, but somehow made him more of an icon and less of a mortal. When he lost his moustache to chemo was when I knew he was going to die. The gravity of the situation before that point was lost on me. The missing moustache got me to pull my head out of the sand.
My wife says, and does, everything in both of these videos.
People often express the sentiment of wanting to be loved just the way that they are, in spite of their faults.
This may sound good at first, but if I think about it too much it becomes nauseating. First of all, if you expect another human being to always display love for you and never experience frustration with your inadequacies, you will inevitably be let down. I hate to sound pessimistic, but this is too much to ask.
Beyond being completely elusive, this notion of unconditional love can be damaging. If our faults become totally acceptable, we’ll have no reason to try to improve ourselves, and settling into that kind of stagnant tolerance is dangerous. Your faults will magnify. Your good qualities will seem no more important than your bad, because you’ll be accepted either way. If you have children, they’ll model you and become smug little assholes. When our faults are accepted, we stop trying.
“In spite of my faults” has a built-in sense of resignation. We should hope for people to love all of our best qualities while we work on our faults. And frankly, we should hope for accountability from the people who love us. Don’t accept my faults; encourage me to be better.
Love the good things about yourself.
Be honest with yourself, but don’t beat yourself up.
Try to do better.
Love the good things about people.
Be honest with them; you don’t have to be confrontational.
Be encouraging, let them do the rest.